Emotional intelligence (Essay Sample)

Emotional intelligence Your Name Rasmussen University COURSE#: Course Title Professor’s Name Assignment Due Date Emotional intelligence Emotional intelligence can be defined as an individual's ability to manage feelings and express them appropriately and effectively. It is the ability to perceive, understand, express, and regulate emotions. Goleman (1998) defines it as "the ability to perceive emotions, integrate emotions to facilitate thought, understand emotions, and regulate emotions to promote personal growth.” The intelligence component relates to the cognitive aspects of mental functioning while emotion relates to the affective aspects of mental functioning. Salovey and Mayer (1997) define emotional intelligence as "the ability to perceive emotions, integrate emotions to facilitate thought, understand emotions, and regulate emotions to promote personal growth." The principles of emotional intelligence include awareness of the emotions and understanding them. Secondly, emotional intelligence involves using and managing emotions appropriately. Core skills of Goleman's theory of emotional intelligence Self-awareness Self-awareness involves understanding one's strengths and weaknesses and minding about how one's actions affect others. people with emotional awareness are receptive to constructive criticism. They also understand their own trigger and how such triggers influence behavior. Self-awareness also involves being in tune with various emotions that one possesses and accepting them. I am aware of my own emotions, both positive and negative. I also have emotional triggers that evoke strong emotional responses. Generally, I try to avoid situations or people who might trigger strong emotional responses. For instance, like everyone else, I have insecurities and I experience strong emotions when someone makes a comment about my insecurities. Although I consider myself receptive to criticism, it matters a lot how those criticisms are put across. They have to be put in a way that is not judgmental based on my perception. I have to perceive that the other person making the criticism is polite and not judgmental. I allow myself to experience a range of emotions such as happiness, sadness, disappointment, love, frustration, and others. These emotions are usually triggered by other people or situations. Reflecting on these emotions, I realize that they are usually my perception. I think what makes one emotion different from another person is perception. While a certain remark may evoke a certain emotion in one person, it can evoke a completely different emotion in another person. For instance, I tend to feel a little embarrassed when listening to a person who is experiencing problems expressing themselves. Some of my friends just find it funny but not embarrassing. For this reason, I try to control my perception especially when I experience a negative emotion such as sadness and disappointment to reduce the strength of the emotion and its impact. Additionally, I always attempt to control my actions but I am not always successful. For instance, when I am angry, I may say things I don't mean. For me, anger is a very strong feeling that clouds my judgment significantly. However, I try to control my actions by deciding not to act at all when angry until the emotion subsides. I believe I can be more aware of my emotions if reflect bout them and the events that led to such feelings. Self-management Self-management refers to the ability or practice of regulating one’s emotions especially in challenging situations. Individuals with high emotional intelligence are able to exercise control and restraint when expressing emotions. I manage strong emotions such as anger, stress, and frustration by controlling my thoughts and deliberately trying to draw them away from the thoughts such as emotions. While it's not easy especially when such feelings are strong, it helps. I also destroy myself by doing various activities such as watching, listening to music, and cleaning. One of my best strategies to distract myself when I am stressed or angry is through fantasizing. I just close my eyes and imagine that I have won the lottery and start planning for the money. This usually distracts me from the negative emotions. In situations when I am supposed to act immediately, for instance, when someone says or does something that angers me, always try to quickly think before acting. I also try to control what to say to such people. This also depends on the party involved. If it is a family member or a person I care about, I usually let them know the impact of their actions on my emotions. If it is a stranger or someone I don't care about, I just avoid uttering words back in anger because I believe it demonstrates maturity when a person doesn't respond back in anger. I am a better manager of emotions now than I was in the past and I attribute this to the desire to control my emotions more and not feed my negative emotions. Stress and negative emotions don’t bring the best in me and they make my days dull. I made a deliberate decision to be more in control and I achieve this by always thinking before I act. I hope to keep on improving my ability to regulate emotions and develop high emotional intelligence. Social awareness Social awareness involves being attentive to the emotions and needs of others, demonstrating empathy, and understanding different perspectives. I am always mindful of other people's emotions. I am also aware of how my own actions can influence other people's emotions. For instance, I avoid saying that can hurt other people even if such things are true. For example, one of my relatives loves to sing and sometimes they sing out of tune. However, when asked if the singing was nice, I always agree because I don’t want to make them feel sad. I know that I am supposed to be honest but I find that brutal honesty can sometimes affect the emotions of others negatively. It is a moral decision I wrestle with sometimes and in some cases it n...