Domestic Violence (Essay Sample)

Domestic Violence
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Domestic Violence
It is worth pointing out that when it comes to domestic violence, it becomes everybody business. It is the duty of everyone to report any form of domestic violence and create awareness when it comes to this form of violence (Adam, 2004). Research has shown that a lot of people in America are in abusive relationships. In this paper we will explore all forms of domestic violence and the forms it takes. No person should experience or be in a relationship that is abusive. This should not happen to any person. Unfortunately, it still happens. People tend to console themselves that it won’t happen again since it happened only once. The state of Michigan leads on the front in protecting victims of domestic violence. During the 1994, 1995 and 2000, they changed their laws to better deal with domestic violence (Adam, 2004). The victims of this form of violence in this state have the chance to get protected by the legal system.
Indications of Abuse and an Abusive Relationship
Domestic violence and ill-treatment have the tendency of happening to anyone. This is despite of one’s size, gender and strength. Unfortunately, this problem has either been overlooked or denied by persons in the relationships. This is accurate, especially when the form of abuse is psychological rather than physical (Wills & Newman, 2010). It has been reported that emotional abuse is often minimal but it has the power to leave deep and enduring scars. In order to end domestic violence and abuse, we have to acknowledge the warning signs and symptoms in the relationship. A person should not live with fear especially when they are living the person they love.
Indulgent in Domestic Violence and Abuse
People need to understand that spousal abuse is the same as domestic abuse. It usually takes place when a person is in an intimate relationship and at times in a marriage (Shackelford & Goetz & Buss & Euler & Hoier, 2005). The other person will thus try to dominate and control the other person. When domestic abuse moves to it been physical, it is when it becomes referred to as domestic violence. The main reason domestic abuse and violence exists is because the other person is trying to gain and maintain control over the other person. There is nothing like fairness when it comes to an abuser. Abusers are known to employ the use of guilt, fear, intimidation and shame hence wearing you down and bringing you down to his or her level. Abusers are known to threaten the other person, hurt them and go to an extent of hurting the people around you (Shackelford & Goetz & Buss & Euler & Hoier, 2005).
It is worth pointing out that when it comes to domestic violence it does not discriminate. It happens in all races, among heterosexual couples and same sex partnerships. It has been experienced among all age groups, ethnic background and economic levels. Research shows that women are the major victims but there have been instances where men are also abused. Men abused have also been found to be on the rise. This has always been either verbally or and emotionally. At other times it has ended been physical (Shackelford & Goetz & Buss & Euler & Hoier, 2005). The outcome is that any form of abusive behavior should not be accepted. This is irrespective of it coming from a man or woman. People deserve to have the sense of been valued, respected and safe.
Recognition of Domestic Violence as a First Step of Healing
It has been proven that domestic violence will start as threats, moves to verbal and lastly physical. The physical injuries may seem dangerous, but emotional and physical abuses have the same consequences and are very severe. When it comes to emotional abuse in relationships, it destroy ones sense of self worthy, then it leads to anxiety and later depression. The victim will always have the feeling of been helpless and alone. A person should not tolerate this type of pain. The initial step is by the victim breaking free by recognizing that the situation is abusive. It is through acknowledging the realism in the abusive condition, will one get the necessary help he or she needs.
Signals That a Relationship is Abusive
Through intense research, I have found out that there plenty of signs that a relationship is abusive. The most apparent sign is the fear of your fellow partner. The kind of feeling has been described as either; feeling like walking on eggshells when your around your partner and finding yourself that you are constantly watching what to say around your partner (Shackelford & Goetz & Buss & Euler & Hoier, 2005). There are higher chances that this relationship is unhealthy and abusive. The other signs are if your partner belittles you, attempts to control you, there are feelings of self loathing, helplessness and nervousness.
The Relation between Physical Abuse and Domestic Violence
It has been observed that when a person’s talk of domestic violence, most of the time they are referring to physical or spousal abuse. The reader needs to understand that the use of force (physical) against someone’s will is what is known as a physical abuse (Elizabeth, 1997). This may lead to injuries and at times endangering the person. People need to understand that physical assault is a crime and it has to be told to the relevant authorities (Shackelford & Goetz & Buss & Euler & Hoier, 2005). This is irrespective of it occurring within or outside the family. The police have the authority and power to protect the citizens of this country from any form of physical attack.
Sexual Abuse as a Form of Physical Abuse
When a person is forced into participating in unwanted, unsafe or undignified sexual activity, this is a form of sexual abuse. It is worth pointing out that forced sex by any person or a spouse or an intimate partner whom happens that at times you do have consensual sex falls under the category of aggression or violence. It has been found out that individuals whom their partners abuse them physically or sexually have a higher risk of ending up dead or gravely injured.
Emotional Abuse
This happens to be a bigger problem than people may imagine. People tend to create a picture of a woman having been battered when they hear the term domestic abuse. It is worth pointing out that not all abusive relationships involve violence (Elizabeth, 1997). Just because one is not battered and injured, it will not mean that they are not being abused. A bigger population than imagined is suffering from emotional abuse and this is not less destructive. It is unfortunate that emotional abuse has been overlooked even by the person being abused.
Perception of Emotional Abuse
The main aim of emotional abuse is to undermine you, your independence and self worthiness. When one is victim of emotional abuse, they feel that there is way out in the relationship. Emotional abuse may include verbal abuse. Verbal abuse entails; yelling, calling of dirty names, blame games and shaming a person. Behaviors like isolating and intimidating someone also falls in the group of emotional abuse (Elizabeth, 1997). Research shows that a person who uses this form of abuse will/tend to accompany their threats with the threat of physical abuse. At times these threats are followed with other repercussions. People seem to believe that physical abuse is bad as compared to emotional abuse, but they should know that the scars of emotional abuse are real and just as painful as those of physical abuse. They are deep and painful, thus as damaging as those of physical violence.
Tactics Used by Abusers
The first tactic is dominance. People who are abusive will always have the need to be in charge when it comes to relationships. They have the tendency to make choices for you, and the family (Maggie, 2008). They even go to the extent of wanting to be able to make important decision for you. They expect you to obey and do what they ask of you. It is more of dictatorship than a relationship. This has ended with them treating you as a servant child with no bigger role to play in that relationship. The ext weapon they use is humiliation. An abuser will try to his or her best make you feel bad about yourself. When they make you feel unworthy, one ends up been dependant on them. Their specialty here is in eroding your self esteem and making the victim feel helpless.
Isolation and threats are the other weapons available in the abusers amour. An abuser will ensure that the victim is dependent on him by isolating his or her partner from the world. He keeps you away from family and friends (Maggie, 2008). The victim always finds him or herself asking permission before doing anything. It is through the use of threats that abusers try to keep their partners from leaving or from charging them. The abuser will go to the extent of threatening to kill you or your children and family members. The abuser may go to the extent to threaten the use of suicide.
The last weapon is the use of intimidation and denial and blame. There various forms of intimidation techniques. They are always designed into scaring a person into submission. The techniques include making threats in form of looks and gestures while smashing things around you. This may include destruction of property, hurting pets and displaying weapons. The message is that if you will not obey there violent consequence to follow (Shorey & Cornelius & Bell, 2008). The first trait of an abuser is in making excuses for the inexcusable. They will us the excuse of their bad childhood for the abusive and violent behavior. At times they will tend to shift the blame on you. Hence, make you feel that you called his action upon yourself and you are to blame.
The Sequence of Domestic Violence
There is a common sequence o cycle that do...