Union Between A Man And A Woman: Arranged Marriages (Essay Sample)

Name
Instructor
Course
Date
Arranged Marriages
Marriage is the union between a man and a woman, which in most cases recognized by the law as husband and wife. Marriage can also be defined as unity between different sex persons such as that of traditional marriage (Allen and Hawkins 56). The reasons why people get married are their love for their partner, the urge to share their lifetime with their partner, and the need to have companionship. As expected of them by the society and giving one another support to achieve their own needs and dreams. One should not get married as a reason of being free from their parents, wanting to have sex, to stop being lonely, to look for happiness, to show that they are now mature. Other marriages happen because a couple is compelled by pregnancy. The two ways of getting a marriage partner include; arranged marriage and new marriages. In this paper discusses the differences between arranged and new marriage based on the novel Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri.
In the arranged marriage, the parties involved have no say over the choice of their future spouses (Seth 45). The main characteristic of this marriage is that both parties do not give full consent to their arrangement. The advantage of such marriage is that the background of the spouses getting married is usually known, therefore, the introduction of unwanted character into the family lineage is minimal if any. The other advantage here is that it strengthens the family ties. Seth argues “the families of the parties involved in such an organization usually have respect for one another brought about by the union of their children” (Seth 56). However, there are also disadvantages to such unions. Usually spouses do not know each other’s behaviors and they are surprised when they learn real personality of their spouse. In addition, when there is a conflict between the two families their marriage can result in a separation or even a divorce.
On the other hand, new marriages are the kind where the partners have the right to choose and decide the person to marry. The parties in this case usually have knowledge of each other for some time and are comfortable in making a long-term decision to being together until death separates them. Many advantages come with this type of marriage (Beverly 54). The couples in many cases share house tasks making because of their love, they also work as a team that is while the husbands struggle to repair broken chairs the wife prepares some food. There is also a lot of understanding between the couples. They usually consult before undertaking any crucial decision (Hawkins 24).
In the novel, Namesake, Ashima and Ganguli are a young couple, who had an arranged marriage. In this case, their union presents an ideal example of an arranged marriage. The main characteristic of this marriage is that they observe their tradition, the tradition of the Bengali people. The couple moves to the United States of America, where Ashoke studies engineering at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. In the meantime, Ganguli gets ready to give birth to Gogol. When she finally gives birth after many struggles with the culture shock she experienced another challenge faces the couple, that of naming their baby. Because of their traditional background that requires an elder to name the baby. They even write a letter to Gogol’s grandmother, but unfortunately, she passes on before she receives the letter. They finally settle on Gogol (Lahiri 34). As seen in this example, culturally arranged marriages come with many disadvantages. For instance, the couple has lost its freedom and even cannot perform a single task of naming a baby. Therefore, one can conclude that traditionally arranged marriage deprives couples of their basic rights, example being a giving a name to a baby.
Gogol grows up and goes through school and as he grows up hating his name. Although his parents are hesitant at first to allow him change his name, they finally bore to pressure from Gogol and finally have him change it. Gogol grows up having a lot of freedom, and he cannot even remember when he lost his virginity (Lahiri 45). This not expected of one in a tradition set up requiring a virgin till marriage. If Gogol were to get an arranged marriage, he would not have gotten a marriage partner. Virginity has value in traditionally arranged marriages.
When Gogol gets a job in an architectural office, he rents a small house in New York. One day at a party, Gogol meets a girl named Maxine that steals his attention. He then moves into her girlfriend’s house. He lives with her in her own floor even though they are not yet married. Gogol blends well in the family and even helps doing the various house chores. (Lahiri 51) This union only comes with new marriages, where those involved have the liberty to choose their partners. Unlike in the arranged marriage, Gogol and Maxine interaction gives them an opportunity to know each other better and if it resulted to marriage, there would be less conflict between the couple.
Maxine’s parents accept Gogol. When the families of Maxine leave for summer holiday, they request Maxine and Gogol to merry with them. They stay at an apartment that belongs to Maxine’s grandparents. (Lahiri 54) This invitation and acceptance of Gogol by Maxine’s parents plays a critical role in the new marriages. It provides an opportunity for parents to learn who their son in-law is. This creates acceptance and leads to reduction of disagreements between the parents and their children when they finally settle down.
When Gogol finally gets to introduce Maxine to his parents, Ashima dismisses Maxine. Ashima claims that Gogol will eventually get over her. This worsens when Gogol’s father dies shortly after meeting Maxine. Gogol goes for his father’s belongings and suddenly changes. He withdraws from Maxine and eventually breaks up the relationship. Google spends more time with his mother and sister. The death of Gogol’s father may have been a result of Gogol’s intended marriage to Maxine. This comes about by the strong believe in arranged marriage. According to Lahiri “His rejection to Gogol’s choice of spouse may have caused Gogol to withdraw from Maxine resulting to the breakup” (Lahiri 64). This scenario exhibits the effect of new marriages. One partner may walk away from one simply because there was no responsibility and pressure from any quarter to see the spouse stay together. If Gogol and Maxine had an arranged marriage, their relationship would have lasted longer. Arranged marriages have both families of the spouse agree before they come together, therefore, in many cases break ups are less if any.
Gogol’s mother suggests to him to have an arranged marriage with her friend’s daughter Moushumi. Gogol has known the girls since childhood. She had even tried getting married once but got disappointed when her partner changed his mind the last minute. Gogol did want to meet Moushumi because she was Bengali and was recovering from being ashamed. “He goes ahead to meet her just to make his mother happy” (Lahiri 65). As seen above, arranged marri...