Stuart Diamond's Getting More: Negotiation, the Chapters Analysis 11-13 (Research Paper Sample)

Student’s name
Instructor’s name
Course
Date
Negotiation
After profound reading of Stuart Diamond’s Getting More, I decided to base my analysis on the chapters 11, 12, and 13, which appeared to be the most interesting for me.
According to Chapter 11, “most relationship problems do not require professionals”, and can be solved by simple communication. It is very important to develop your listening skills, learn to accept another party’s viewpoint, and discuss controversial issues in a calm tone. I enjoyed the passage, where Stuart Diamond claims that simple complains about bad weather or traffic delays are “attempts to find a common enemy, to bring the two parties closer together”. He provides an example of Adolf Hitler,who made Jewish people the common enemy, which resulted into the Holocaust. In fact, this method is used very often, and greatly helps to develop long-lasting relationships. Usually, close relations are based on different emotional payments. Being tolerant, valuing other parties, reducing their fears, respecting the other’s beliefs, and helping them “to save face” will help you to become perfect friend and negotiator. According to the author, to conduct successful negotiations, you should use trading items of unequal value after providing a person with emotional payments. I think that sometimes the negotiation tools, which are advised by professor, require too much efforts or time and are not worth using. For example, the situation of Aleksandr Hromcenco, who wanted to buy a toy soldier for $600. To get the wife’s approval he agreed to take their child to and from school for the entire month. If we forget about his family responsibility to look after the child, Aleksandr’s agreement turns out to be a great loss of energy and time. Secondly, Stuart Diamond provided a story of his former student, who managed to persuade her husband to take better care of their children. The author claims that she managed it after pointing out that husband’s friends “provided significant care for their children”. As far as I know, men hate being compared with others and are usually insulted after that. In my opinion, this chapter, as well as many others, provides rather superficial insight of the issue, and hasn’t got so much scientific value as some other works on relationship (e.g. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Grey).
In Chapter 12, Stuart Diamond helps parents to deal with the children’s tantrums and to avoid misunderstanding and insults in their relationships. To my mind, a great number of them are really very useful and fresh. I enjoyed the idea of doing projects together, making lists and playing role-reversal games. Such kinds of family entertainment, emotional payments, and trust seem to be essential for the formation of a happy family. According to Stuart Diamond, the first thing parents should do is to “figure out the picture in the head of your child”. As it was discussed in the previous chapter about relationship, we need to try asking more questions, rather than making assumptions. Secondly, children usually feel unsecure because of their great dependence on parents. The best way out is to increase their power, give them a right to choose and make them to feel more independent. I was positively surprised with the author’s idea about “Plan B”, which explains the tantrums and crying of children. It happens not because the child has “less developed communication skills”, but because he or she was insulted or mistreated. Understanding, emotional payments, providing children with more power and sense of control will deprive parents from dealing with such awkward moments. Consequently, the negotiations with children will become much easier. Moreover, parents should understand that sometimes it is essential to indulge some children’s whims, such as watching TV or playing computer games, because it is a way for them to deal with stress. Constant forbidding these trifles greatly insults children and validates their feelings. Try to “Make it about their needs as much as yours”, to listen to your children, and to discuss with them their wishes, goals and failures. The result would be impressive. However, the chapter comprises some passages, which seem to me rather irrelevant or improbable. I reckon that an establishment of the point system and trading items of unequal value somewhat resemble me a kind of bribe or bargain. At first glance, the process seems to be fair to both children and parents, but I still believe this “rewards and punishment” system decreases child’s motivation over some period of time. Children still need to obey some unwritten rules without any “trading”. Moreover, some Diamond’s advice appears to be self-evident and even ridiculous. It gives the feeling that “Getting More” actually lacks the spirit of scientific study. Things like “every individual is different”, “children want to be treated more like adults”, “more emotions mean less listening” are well-known facts and do not need commentaries. As for me, some stories are rather implausible or even naïve, especially the passage about Jon Rogers’s children. It is not so easy so stop constant fights between small children with the help of one talk, even though you possess “magical rhetoric skills”. Plenty of parents work hard to cope with this problem for years, and usually fail in their attempts.
In Chapter 13, Stuart Diamond offers advice how to cope with the difficulties, when you are traveling. First of all, you need to remain patient and persistent, while persuading service representative to help you. Ensure the party that you are a loyal customer, be polite, provide details, and use framing to gain your aim. I suppose, it is also a great idea to differentiate yourself by being proactive, offering help and “future investment in the relationship”. It would be very useful to find out some latest news about the travel agency, to learn about its standards, special kinds of discounts and perks. One more valuable piece of advice is to remain calm and never make attempts to threaten or blackmail service representatives. They are not responsible for all your misfortunes and travel vicissitudes. Frightening them with ending the relationship unless they do you a favor reminds of “threatening your spouse with divorce every time you have an argument”. Stuart Diamond claims that over some period of time service staff will not believe you. It is better to talk about your investment into relationship instead. Nonetheless, some pieces of advice I would take with the grain of salt. The author says: “Ask for exceptions to politics – it should become second nature”. I think people should understand that travel representatives still have limited power, and annoing them everytime you want to cut the price or get some benefits, shows your selfish and mercenary attitude. As well as in the previous chapters, some srories seem improbable, especially the one with Arjun Madan’s father and the missing flight. I believe he managed to save $200 not only by virtue of negotiation tools, but more of f...