A Book Review: ‘A General Theory of Love' (Book Review Sample)

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A Book Review: ‘A General Theory of Love’
Introduction
‘A General Theory of Love’ is a non-fiction book that attempts to explain the human emotion of love in scientific terms. The book is authored by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard Lannon, all of them psychiatry professors based at the University of California, San Francisco. First published in 2000 by Vintage Books (a division of Random House), the work has since been reissued twice, first in 2001, then in 2007. The book retails for $23.95 on Barnes & Noble. The general argument of the authors is that love, like all emotions, originates from the brain, not the heart. This paper aims at reviewing the book, paying special attention to the word ‘love’ in terms of science, psychiatry and psychology. As such, I will attempt to appraise/evaluate critically the work under the aforementioned headings before making my final remarks on it
‘Love’ in Terms of Science
In 450 B.C, Hippocrates suggested that all human emotions, including love, originate from the mind, not the heart. In other words, our thoughts influence and determine our feelings, not the other way round. However, for the next 2500 years, science generally, and medicine in particular did not make any breakthroughs in the area of love (Lewis, The Science of Falling in Love, pg 145). Instead, the subject was left to the arts – poetry, literature, song and dance and painting, among others. This was until the 1990s when scientific knowledge of how the brain influences man’s emotions became known.
There are many types of love: a mother’s, a sibling’s, or a friend’s (Lewis, The Science of Falling in Love, pg. 145). However, here we are talking about the romantic, passionate kind of love that binds lovers (such as husband and wife) together. This type of love can develop gradually out of a friendship or explode spontaneously at first sight. It can be a fleeting infatuation that fades away in days or weeks, or it can endure for years, even an entire lifetime. It can be made of extreme sexuality or tender compassion. It may develop into marriage or end after the first sexual encounter. It may slide into a routine or maintain its initial spark or vibrancy.
A person who loves another person and wishes him or her to return that love ponders of many questions (Amini, pg. 30). Most people know only too well that a rejected love can cause them untold emotional pain. Indeed, most of the words and acts that hurt us the most come from the people who are closest to us, not strangers. This fact notwithstanding, men and women continue to fall in love and marry each other. In fact, if there is one institution that is as old as mankind, it has to be the institution of marriage.
Just as bonds hold together the atoms of an element such as iron, there also exist bonds of love. Love bonds can be strong, medium or weak (Lewis, Bonds of Love, pg. 200). The strongest bonds exist in a family between a parent and a child and among siblings. These bonds, apart from enduring, are exclusive: no one can take away the love of a mother for her child, for example. In return, a son will continue to love his mother even when he marries and establishes his home. Medium bonds, on the other hand, develop between people who trust each other, such as friends. Friendships tend to be free from the jealousy that can easily grow in the hearts of siblings. Even so, a friendship is very vulnerable to betrayals. Lastly, bonds exist among colleagues and neighbors. Usually, neighbors may interact as long as they live in the same place. However, the moment one of them moves, the relocation marks the end of their interaction.
‘Love’ in Terms of Psychiatry
Modern psychiatry considers certain expressions of romantic love diseases (Berks, pg. 54). These diseases go by different diagnostic names, the commonest one being lovesickness. The term ‘lovesickness’ has been used to describe the problem of psychotherapists who have sexual intercourse with their patients because they are (or believe they are) in love with them. The majority of psychotherapists who have sexual encounters with their patients are either predators or suffering from lovesickness. The commonest scenario is that of a male psychotherapist in his middle life and who is undergoing a divorce or has lost a loved one. He may ‘pour out his heart’ to his patient and present himself as needy and endangered. The end, usually, is a sexual affair.
‘Love’ in Terms of Psychology
Most psychologists have a cynical view of love: they do not believe that people can actually fall in love. To some of them, to fall in love is irrational. To others, it is a danger. To others still, love is a product of contemporary culture. For psychoanalysts, falling in love is the outcome of unrealized sexual desire. In other words, a person will only fall (and hopefully remain) in love only has long as he or she has an unfulfilled urge for sex. Otherwise, as soon as the person finds and has sex with another, h/she walks away. The psychoanalysts add that falling in love is regressive, taking one to his/her days of infancy (Sternberg and Wein, pg. 52). Now this is a solemn claim: that only infants can and should fall in love (with the mother). They even doubt that the mother can fall in love with her baby in return.
Thus, according to the ...