Supporting a Person Facing Loss (Essay Sample)

SUPPORTING A PERSON FACING LOSS
By
Course
Professor
Institution
City and State
Date
Supporting a Person Facing Loss
When a person losses their loved one, particularly a spouse, it is normal to grieve. The process takes time and entails emotional and behavioural adjustment. Some of the other main causes of losses include loss due to cancer, stillbirths, parent and a child, among others (Worden, 2018, pp. np). Jane had just lost her husband through a grisly road accident when the car rolled down a cliff with Stephen, the husband, in her presence. The two were on a honeymoon. Besides the loss, the experience and the guilt worsened the pain that Jane had to experience. In the same note, their friends who closely involved in the marriage planning and presiding over were equally affected though not to the level of Jane. The main challenges that Jane will face are accepting the idea that Stephen, who she had been together for a decade, is no longer there, allowing herself to experience the pain that comes with the loss.
Worst still, it is very difficult to come to terms with the reality that she will have to begin a new life after the deceased. The experiences have so far resulted in normal grief that has been depicted through numbness, sorrow, anger and guilt in regard to the loss of the loved one. Expectedly, the grief that befell Jane will not end just given the closeness and the circumstances that surrounded the death of the deceased. Therefore, some feelings may debilitate and keep on reoccurring even after one year. The state beyond this point is called persistent or complicated grief. Nonetheless, both levels of grief require support and attention to help the bereaved overcome the situation, as in the case of Jane.
Types of grief
Grief is the emotional reaction the loss of a loved one, while mourning refers to the process of adjusting to the loss. Mourning is affected by the person social, religion as well as the cultural affiliation of the bereaved. Jane, as bereaved is a Christian in a monogamous society which gives priority to a nuclear family. Therefore, it is hard for her to come to terms with the reality of starting a new life with a new lover. For instance, the beliefs in the institution of marriage and she were faithful to it. Religious inclination posits that the woman is the rib of the husband, the only rib, thereby making it hard for her to look for a new lover in the near future. On the other hand, society would judge her harshly if she moves on within the shortest time. As young as she is, she deserves to remarry and move on since death is a natural event that should be accepted. However, grieving is inevitable and occurs ion two main stages.
Normal grief
Norma grief the natural way in which people react to the events that are painful and traumatic, like in the case of Jane, who lost her husband. The responses in normal grief are not permanent are exhibited with a short time after the loss. For instance, Jane with the first days, weeks and months cried, sobbed and shed tears at the provocation of the thoughts that make her remember her loving husband (Boelen & Smid 2017, pp 357). During this period, the sleep patterns change, and she could sleep well, and her sister, Gladys had been trying to soothe her to sleep but in vain. She found it hard to sleep at night in her matrimonial bed but when she oversleeps in her sofa occasionally in the afternoons.
Naturally, the changes in her life made her loose appetite hence the general loss of energy. She has been weak. On food, she takes junk food as snacks and avoided routine meals like breakfast and lunch when other members are dinning. She does take pride in the social interactions during mealtime, a fact, she confided to Gladys. Furthermore, she frequently showed some feelings of lethargy and apathy in regards to tasks that are undertaken by the other members of the family during the day. Jane does not concentrate on everything that she does. One day her sister took her to a picnic, her favourite destination, but throughout out the conversation at the venue, she was absent-minded. At home, her mother-in-law noticed that she rarely took a shower nor changed her clothes until reminded to do the same.
Socially, Jane is bitter not only on herself but also everyone who seemed happy and jovial. She showcases some elements of loneliness, depression, anger, emptiness, as well as guilt at the beginning but later on, she began having some light moments of joy and happiness. She stays alone most of the time and requests to the left alone. Worst still, one day she went to the Stephen graveside and apologized for letting him "die alone". Her mother-in-law, who has been very instrumental in her healing, tried to consult her that it was not her fault, but she sobbed dearly and dismissed her. Furthermore, she has developed some rebellion on everyone and begun questioning her Christian faith and beliefs. She questioned why God led the death of her husband to occur despite her dutiful faith in Him. She knew that they would separate but not that soon. She was finding it hard to understand the transience of life at that particular moment.
In addition, her friends were uncomfortable with the manner in which she treated them. Jane was silent and showed some indifference to her closest friends. Her business partners were at crossroads since Jane dissuaded them from investing with claiming that she was no longer interested in them. She said life was no longer making sense to her after the loss of Stephen. The family, both her maternal and paternal parents and siblings, were disturbed and affected by the unusual character of Jane. On her normal life, Jane is a charismatic and likeable lady. Therefore, her change in attitude and behaviour was a blow to her fans, who were also in the same note affected by the loss of Stephen.
Complicated grief
Closely related to normal grief is the complicated grief that shares the same characteristics. Like any other person whose loss is impactful, Jane experiences complicated grief. The main reason why Jane experiences grief is because she postponed the grief because she was so stressed over the failure to rescue the car that killed her husband. The kind of grief is she underwent traumatic since her the loss was as a result of an accident witnessed by her (Dougherty, J.E., 2016, pp. np). The incident that proceeded the death of Stephen was so traumatic that it exaggerated the grief into what could be termed as a traumatic stress disorder.
Jane depicted some episodes of rage as in the case of the normal grief, but this time she was more irritated and angry. As everyone was expecting her to improve and get through the loss, Jane did not. Instead, she showed a complete lack of concentration and inability to focus on any other thing apart from her deceased husband. She would mention him in front of a conversation or in the middle of asleep. When everyone could be silent, she would absent-minded utter some words that could be seen as part of a conversation with Stephen. She laughed loudly when other members in the family are asleep to show the jovial moments she enjoyed with the departed husband.
Jane could show completely unconscious moments where her memories with the husband could flow uncontrollably. On such moments excessive depiction of the deceased in her life was exhibited exclusively. However, she would make concerted efforts like listening to music to try to forget him. In such efforts, the outcome could be withstood for some hours, and the memories reoccur. Gladys, insightfully noted that her sister was finding difficulty coping with the loss of her husband amidst concern that she was overdoing it. On furthermore research, she noted that Jane advanced feelings of hopelessness and the continuous longing of the deceased presence were justified.
As a matter of fact, Jane showed that she was undergoing intense feelings of detachment from the rest of the family. Her world for a moment had ceased. She sympathized with herself and failed to find meaning to the existence without Stephen, who had been supportive of her. The realities of the situation made her have low-self-esteem. In her response to real issues, she showed an unwillingness to try new things, and to her, the world was coming to an end. Additionally, she still showed bitterness to the other people more so the perceived enemies as responsible for the death of the husband. For instance, her husband friend, Christopher, was an unlucky man when he came to deliver his condolence. He had picked a quarrel with the Stephen a week before the incident, and the Jane was aware of it. Unluckily, he was not there during the burial. She yelled at him some abominable words in respect of the death of her husband.
In as much as Jane was under constant watch, she depicted some tendencies to commit suicide. She had requested her sister to buy some pain-relieving drugs, and she tried to take them at once. Fortunately, her mother was within to rescue the situation. She cried and blamed them for preventing her from taking her a journey to be with the husband so that she could evade the challenges and the stress associated with living. She tried once to starved herself while at work but her colleagues noted she was not ready to resume work, and they talked with the manager to give her time to mourn her husband through pout guided process. The thoughts kept recurring, but the family was aware, and they kept a watchful eye over in case of anything.
Jane has depicted self-destructive behaviours in the recent past. For instance, she once drunk herself too much. Gladys noted that she had brought some bottles of alcoholic drinks. Being he...